Last year, this was a BIG week for us. I had been feeling sick for several days and it hit me pretty hard all day long. After about 3 days my sister suggested that I take a home pregnancy test. Reluctantly, I did. With the first positive result I was shaking and nervous. The next morning, we got our second positive result. I was excited, liberated and in complete denial (some might call that shock)!
It’s hard to describe what it feels like to know you are going to be a parent. A lot of the shock was the speed (we were only in the “trying mode” for 3 months). We were, also, a little bit older than most other people we knew with having our first child. The lifestyle change was going to be HUGE! Then, there is the sheer joy. The fact that we were going to bring a little-teeny-tiny person into this world that represented us: US – as one unit, a couple, a marriage, a FAMILY. Even now, writing this, it makes me smile.
Never was I nervous or scared about taking care of a little human. That part felt natural to me, it was the birthing part that completely had me feeling paralyzed. However, as you all know, I had nothing to worry about in that department.
Now, we have a perfect little baby girl, fondly referred to as L.L. here – Our Little Love. The more time I spend with her the bigger my heart grows. She’s a living doll and that’s not just me being biased; we are told that, constantly, when people see her while we are out and about. I’m starting to see little parts of me, in her, and so is my husband. It’s truly a blessing that I didn’t even know how to fathom.
Each day I feel more connected to her and when I am away from her (which isn’t all that often) I am surprised how alive I feel seeing her bright eyes looking back at me. Her smile is infectious and will provoke you to do the silliest things, just to get another one. Plus, her cooing – oh the cooing – I love hearing her voice! The first time she says Momma or wants an actual hug from me – well, I might just melt into the ground.
Having a kid is the best idea EVER! It’s truly the coolest and only getting better by the minute.