The Underbelly

You know, the side of something that isn’t normally seen…

Well, this post is going to be all about just that. So, if you are the kind of person who doesn’t want to know about all the turmoil a pregnancy can bring, please stop reading now. Or if you are squirmish and don’t like talk of poo, stop reading now! While all you ladies who say no one ever told you about that (before or during pregnancy), here is your chance. I’m about to tell you.

First: constipation.
Yep, I said it – totally blocked up to the point of felling like you are going to birth a baby from the wrong place! I never knew it could be that painful to just take a simple poo. Not just that it felt like a watermelon was trying to get out, but that it wouldn’t come out AT ALL! Two times I actually got some relief after all that work, but it wasn’t over there. Oh no, it couldn’t just remain as the most painful, sweat inducing process I’ve ever experienced. It had to clog the toilet as well! Ahhhhhh…not only did this happen once, but several times. Why, you might ask? Well, because these little jerks were quite seriously hard as rocks. Tiny little pebbles of hard rock packed together. They couldn’t be flushed!!! Gross and natural and something I never want to deal with again – NEVER!
TIP (pregnant friends): either leave it there over night to let it soften up or flush right away at each piece that falls (if that’s possible).

Second: round ligament pain. 
For me, the first pregnancy had this and I recall it being pretty painful, but this is a whole different ballgame. For instance, just the other week my pelvic pain was so bad I couldn’t stand or move either of my legs, out of the blue, without crying out in massive pain. I kept trying to lift my legs to walk out of the kitchen with no luck. The stabbing pain took my breath away at each try. Our living room is all of 3 feet from where I was by the counter in the dining room. That wonderful comfy chair should have been easy to get to, instead it felt like it was a football field’s length away. After deciding I refused to cry, but still panicking I began to get down on my hands and knees. Crawling was the only bright idea I could come up with. I knew that laying on the hard wood floor was a bad idea, so what’s a girl to do? The crawling ended up working, but those 3 feet took me 7-8 minutes to cross because any movement for those muscles was excruciating pain. Once I made it to the chair I just sat there, waiting. It was awesome. To add insult to injury, I could see my phone across the room, but there was no way to get to it and the tv remotes were on the opposite side. So I stayed sitting there, adjusting ever so gently since sitting wasn’t the greatest feeling either. Gil eventually came home and I eventually got my mobility back. So far, this is the worst that it has been and I am thankful for that!
TIP: chiropractic and stretching

Third: hip pain.
This one is pretty much like the last. Everything is so strained that my sciatica is acting up. Leaving my right bum cheek to take the brunt end of it. For me, it’s a feeling of the baby trying to push my leg out of socket. I keep saying I’m going to be walking one day and leave my leg behind me after it falls out of place. It truly feels just like that’s happening. Or did. Now it’s a numbing feeling, followed by tingling and sharp pains. It’s so nice that I tend to cry out in pain, without warning. I’ve now gotten used to it, but those around me aren’t so unfazed. That’s a fun one to explain to a stranger.
TIP: chiropractic and streching (pulling your leg over your body while laying down or taking a tennis ball to your bum and rolling over it to massage the tension)

Fourth: braxton hicks.
Oh braxton hicks, this is another new phenomenon for this pregnancy. I was SO LUCKY last time and didn’t experience them! Thank goodness. ‘Cause they are no joke. For me, they feel like menstration cramps that cycle around the abdomen. Then move to the crotch and make your pelvis bones ache. Then move onto the back, for what I assume is light back labor pains. However, don’t think that these are so light, they totally suck! My last appointment at the OB was enlightening enough, that I found out I was having these fake contractions all the time. Perfect! This baby is all the way on the outside of my body (meaning outside of the ribs). Which isn’t how it felt the first time, she was all on the inside making it hard to breathe and what not. So, I’m thankful to get around that one. Yet, the braxton hicks are putting baby boy into a little ball pressing on the outside of my belly skin and crotch. It’s not as bad as all the rest, just uncomfortable. Yay, me!
TIP: ice, warm bath, and resting.

So, for now, just call me ice crotch. It’s fitting! Any questions…you know where to find me.

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