Another month passed us by in a blur. We are having so much fun with L.L. it’s hard to imagine life without her. I keep wanting to sit down and write about how all this makes me feel, but I haven’t had the time to get it all out on “paper”. Hopefully you will see a blog post soon enough of all the mushy stuff I have to offer about being a new mother.
This past month we have struggled with L.L.’s weight. She literally “fell off the charts” because she was so small. The doctor didn’t tell me this until we were at her two month appointment and she was back on. Probably better because I would have stressed even more. For two weeks she was about the same weight, and it seems that isn’t normal. Especially when you consider most babies have a growth spurt in that duration.
Personally, I feel that she was fine, but it was good for us to know that there is a possibility for danger. She was still meeting all her milestones by smiling, cooing, looking at us with the ability to follow with her eyes. She was also producing enough diapers, so we knew she wasn’t dehydrated. What she wasn’t doing was gaining the weight they wanted her to. When you break it down I feel that doctors these days don’t leave room (or much room) for free thinking anymore. Yes, she wasn’t fitting into the checkbox of weight, but she was fitting into all the rest just fine, do we really have to term her as a baby that has “Failure to Thrive”? I would think not, but there isn’t any other way for them to categorize it, so there you have it. And that is a nightmare when you are a new parent, you really do feel like you must be doing something wrong.
Especially as a breastfeeding mother, I was sure it was something I wasn’t doing or was doing wrong. I kept going to the Breastfeeding Support Groups, started pumping more to get my supply up, remained taking Fenugreek (and smelling like maple syrup, in the process – at least it was something sweet!), tracked everything, and started getting us off the nipple shield! On top of all that, I signed up for a breastfeeding clinic headed by one of the lactation consultants who runs one of the groups I attend. It was absolutely everything I could think of other than supplementing with formula. Which isn’t a bad thing, I just didn’t see why I had to do that. I truly felt like I was doing all I could and it was supposed to work out. I really needed all my effort to work out, so that I kept up with all the work it was taking to breastfeed my sweet baby. So, we persevered.
Luckily it all worked out. I have to say I was ready to throw a party the first time I saw 8 lbs. on the scale. It was such a relief and I was hopeful that we were out of the woods and far away from “Failure to Thrive” land. When I went to the clinic both L.L. and I were congratulated by the lactation consultant (I really love her) and when we went to our pediatrician appointment, he congratulated me. We had made it! We were doing what we should (according to the charts and checkboxes) and didn’t get any more special directions. I wanted to high five the doctor.
So, to any of you new mothers out there that are struggling, fear not! Persevere and keep doing all you can. Contact lactation consultants in your area and go to those support groups, they are what really saved me. It feels so good to know you aren’t the only one that is going through such a hard time. To feel so happy yet so sad/defeated at the same time isn’t easy to manage. If you are like me and you don’t have family around or close friends to turn to in your area you feel a bit alone. I needed people to help me feel more like myself and feel better about how being me is a good thing. If you don’t have that, find it. I happened to find it in those groups and I’m grateful for them, the ladies that run them, and the wonderful mommas that attend.
Now, onto the fun stuff – pictures! Our angel is 2 months old and she is precious. Just take a look!