Did you know we have been married for TEN WHOLE YEARS!?
It’s really hard for me to believe, because that means we have been together for 14 and that feels B-A-N-A-N-A-S! If you have known me for the long haul I’m sure you find it as astonishing as I do.
However, it’s not so crazy if you were around when Gil and I first met. We were ridiculously in love, especially right after our wedding. That was the pinnacle of annoying and I look back at the memories and adore thinking about those precious times. They are fleeting and so short in the span of a long relationship, but have a lasting impact on the two humans who share such a special bond.
I was the person who couldn’t wait to be loved the way Gil made me feel. It was something I knew was out there, but didn’t think was something I would find. Even when the dating (and awful relationships) went downhill I still thought, it’s gonna happen for me. It just has to, I wanted it so badly and I was a good person, I just had to wait for my time.
Luckily, it did happen for me. Now we have two beautiful kids and we have been navigating this parental life for 9 years. It’s the hardest part of our relationship, not because it’s so hard to be parents (even though that can be the case). It’s because once you have a kid your relationship with your spouse takes the back burner. A newborn baby is hard core, to the bone.
Somehow we survived the baby we didn’t know was easy and then the one that arrived just to smack us around so that we knew parenting was actually a challenge. We survived the 7 year itch, as I’ve heard it, but I have different thoughts on that. (Aren’t you surprised?)
Now we are at 10 years with a few big life changes under our belt and we remain. It’s never been as easy as it was during those first years, but it’s always been worth it.
So, for our big 10 year celebration we went as “all out” as we could. I drove the kids to Houston so a friend could watch them over the weekend, Gil dropped Domingo off at his high school friend’s house and we went to the J.W. Hotel. It’s pretty swanky and has a posh spa.
We enjoyed two days of couples massages, drinks, food and the most rain I could ever imagine in San Antonio. This meant we didn’t get to enjoy the luxury pools, lazy river and huge water slides. But we did get to enjoy time together, just the two of us.
My favorite (outside of the massages, I mean, who doesn’t love that?) was our Friday night dinner.
While we waited for our 9pm dinner reservation we indulged in our free beverage upon arrival and s’mores on the patio! Then, we took down bread, wine, appetizers, delicious steak, more wine, dessert, and lastly a fine port. We had a quick witted waitress who could even make me laugh about having to read a menu on a cell phone where I missed the entire vegetable section.
What I found magical about the night was that Gil and I were in flow with our conversation. Saying what the other was thinking. Never having a lull in the moment. It was as if we were in our dating stage again and I loved it. Our connection felt electric, just as it had for all those years before. When I think about it now I still get warm fuzzies.
You may be wondering when this might happen for you or how you might bring the magic back, too… That is something I cannot tell you, but I can say that I believe it will happen. Most likely when you aren’t even trying.
Remember what Ted Lasso says, “I believe in hope. I believe in Believe”.